1. Recognizing the Signs
He’s changed habits—maybe deleting dating apps, avoiding discussions about his attractions, or shutting down when asked about his sexuality. While not conclusive, these behaviors may suggest he's questioning his orientation.
2. Loyalty Tests: A Risky Tactic
Some people turn to “loyalty tests” like asking friends to flirt or using dating apps anonymously to probe a partner’s reactions. On Reddit, users shared unhappy outcomes:
“Thanks for the trust test, babe…wouldn’t have seen the red flags otherwise.”
This kind of test often backfires, weakening trust and bringing respect into question. If he voluntarily gave out your number to others, it’s a major red flag—not proof of orientation.
3. Looking Him Up on Grindr
It can be tempting to search his name on Grindr, but Grindr doesn’t let you look up users by name directly. What you can do is:
- Create an anonymous account.
- Use the Explore map feature to shift location.
- Set filters (age, tribe, body type).
- Rely on free daily unlocks or upgraded plans like XTRA to boost visibility.
However, be aware of privacy limits and the potential for false leads. Some third-party services claim they can locate users by name or email, but these are unreliable at best and risky at worst.
4. Ethical Alternatives: Communication & Assessment
Instead of covert probing, consider trust-building strategies:
- Talk openly, using relationship quizzes from reputable sources like psychology research centers to explore trust.
- Watch for loyalty indicators: deleting dating apps, supporting you during low times, and trusting without jealousy.
- Set relationship boundaries, ensuring respectful contact with friends or apps. A loyal partner will honor them.
5. Real‑World Example
A Reddit user recounts:
“He gave out my number…some sent pictures…one told me what was happening.”
The result? A breach of trust, not clarity about orientation.
6. Steps to Take
- Reflect: Are your concerns about his orientation, trust, or both?
- Ask yourself what your goals are: clarity? Reassurance? Transparency?
- Communicate directly, in a non‑accusatory way (“I’ve felt distant; can we talk?”).
- Use tools ethically – trust quizzes, app settings, but not covert methods.
- Consider professional help—couples counseling can help both partners express themselves safely.
7. Risks of Sneaky Methods
- Relationship Damage: Hidden tests hurt trust more than they reveal.
- Privacy & Security: Using shady third-party tools risks personal data leaks.
- Wrong Conclusions: Even if he’s on Grindr, that doesn’t necessarily mean he's gay or being unfaithful.
Conclusion
Rather than relying on sneaky tactics like loyalty tests or Grindr sleuthing, prioritize honest conversation and evaluate trust through behavior, kindness, consistency, and emotional safety. Focus on transparency, not traps.
TL;DR
- Spotting changes is valid but not proof.
- Loyalty tests often harm trust, not gain clarity.
- Grindr search by name isn’t available; although Explore/filtering is possible, it’s unreliable.
- Better approach: talk openly, use valid trust cues, and avoid deceit.
- Seek help through trusted quizzes or counseling if needed