Letโs face it: if youโre looking for a guide on how to cheat and not get caught, youโre already on shaky ground. But for those curious (or just here for a laugh), hereโs the ultimate "foolproof" guide that will absolutely guarantee one thing โ getting caught.
This is not actual advice, but rather a tongue-in-cheek look at all the classic mistakes cheaters make, why theyโre destined to fail, and why honesty is always the better path.
1. Keep Your Phone Locked โ But Forget Trust is Unlocked
Cheaters think that locking their phones with PINs, patterns, or biometrics is a clever safeguard. They imagine that as long as the device stays under lock and key, secrets remain safe.
But here's the catch:
If you suddenly start guarding your phone like it holds national secrets, your partner will notice. Suspicion grows when your behavior changes โ and no amount of screen-locks can mask that.
In real-life scenarios, partners report that over-protectiveness of personal devices was the first red flag (source). Even the FBI couldnโt help you here โ because trust once broken, unlocks a Pandoraโs box of questions.
Bonus Fail Tip: Delete your messages, but forget that cloud backups exist. Oops.
2. Gaslighting Your Partner? Congratulations, You're the Villain.
One of the most toxic "strategies" in cheating is gaslighting โ making your partner feel like theyโre paranoid or imagining things when they catch red flags.
Gaslighting might buy time, but at the expense of your partnerโs mental health and your own humanity. In modern relationships, people are increasingly aware of this manipulative tactic. Articles from health institutions like Healthline outline clear signs of gaslighting (source), and trust us โ once your partner reads those, your cover is blown.
Real-World Example:
In a viral Reddit thread, a user detailed how their partner repeatedly denied shady behavior until GPS data from shared apps exposed the lies. Emotional manipulation only prolonged the inevitable โ and made the breakup much uglier.
3. Donโt Fall for Traps โ Like... External People or Dating Apps
Some cheaters think theyโre slick by keeping flings exclusive โ "If I only cheat with ONE person, Iโm safe." Spoiler: youโre not.
External temptations, like that coworker who flirts or strangers on dating apps, are often designed to test boundaries. Some people might even set you up deliberately. Ever heard of "honey trapping"? Thatโs when someone lures you into infidelity to catch you in the act (BBC on honey traps).
Pro Tip for Getting Caught: Get involved with someone who knows your social circle โ the word will travel faster than your next text.
4. Every Secret Lives in Your Phone โ And Your Partner Knows It
Partners often check phones not because theyโre invasive, but because their gut tells them something is off. Research shows that intuitive suspicion in relationships often aligns with actual infidelity (source).
Trying to outsmart your partner by hiding apps, deleting chats, or using "disappearing messages" on platforms like Signal or WhatsApp just leaves a trail of absence. And nothing sparks curiosity like a suspicious lack of evidence.
If your partner is asking questions, itโs usually because the behavioral evidence already speaks volumes โ your phone is just the confirmation, not the cause.
5. The Final Move? Self-Sabotage & Loneliness
Letโs say you "succeed" โ no texts, no evidence, no confrontations. Congratulations, youโve now:
- Built walls in your relationship.
- Disconnected emotionally from your partner.
- Lived in constant anxiety of being found out.
This is the classic path to loneliness and distrust. A case study published by the American Psychological Association reveals that cheaters often experience heightened guilt, paranoia, and long-term dissatisfaction โ even when they donโt get caught (APA Study on Infidelity).
In the end, the real person youโre cheating is yourself.
Real-World Cautionary Tale
Consider the infamous case of Tiger Woods. His multiple affairs became public, leading to a media frenzy, loss of sponsorships, and a tarnished reputation that took years to rebuild (ESPN coverage).
No amount of secrecy could prevent the eventual fallout. If multimillion-dollar PR teams couldnโt save him from exposure, neither will your passcode.
TL;DR
Looking for a cheat code on how to cheat and not get caught? There isn't one. Every method โ phone locks, gaslighting, deleting messages, sticking to "just one person" โ is a ticking time bomb.
Instead of wasting energy on deception, invest it in communication, honesty, and fixing (or ending) relationships that arenโt working. Thatโs the real power move.